the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
