Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
