I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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