It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
