Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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