we have pet lesbian snakes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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