Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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