This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
