im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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