I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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