a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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