so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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