i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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