I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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