dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
