I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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