threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize