her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My bed is full of blood and feathers
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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