I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
