I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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