My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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