Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
