he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
