i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
