dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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