it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
