we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
