Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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