this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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