my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
