My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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