It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just high enough for therapy.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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