she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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