And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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