and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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