bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
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I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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