I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
