so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
