Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
