wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
