It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
