new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Couch. On fire.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
