Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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