I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
