I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
