Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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