i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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