We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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