Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
