the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize