it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
