It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
