I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
